Living The Dream

This is the third post in a row about pursuing your dreams. I don’t mean to belabor my point, but this is my blog and well, I guess I’m going to belabor my point. I was thinking the other day about a rant I sent to a friend via email saying that it’s not something everyone can do. And I had to wonder to myself after I wrote it, is it something everyone can do? Was I wrong to be so judgmental, to act superior based on my own “hardships?”

I don’t know. But I would, now, ask a series of questions to someone considering taking the road less traveled. These questions sound fatalistic, but really they’re just taking the romance out of the whole deal.

They go like this…Are you ready to

1. Be scared to death on an hourly or daily basis because you now really have to put out the ideas and feelings closest to your heart?

2. Be bored to death from a lack of connectedness to other people or a lack of immediate work?

3. Lean on your family/lovers/friends for financial and emotional support?

4. Be rejected?

5. Sacrifice relationships you thought were deep, but only turn out to be superficial because someone is intimidated by your passion and work ethic?

6. Have people called “Mom,” “Dad,” and “Doggie” be your best friends?

7. Be without a lover, for lack of time, money or other reasons?

8. Be broke?

9. Be all of the previous things, feel all of the previous things at your current age or the ages that follow your current age?

10. Spend a whole lot of time by yourself, working, without knowing if the fruits of your labor will ever pay off?

11. Watch loved ones, old friends checking off the status quo benchmarks on their list while yours remains empty?

12. Work harder than you’ve ever worked in your life? Work for your life? And your ego and your idea of who you think you are?

13. Forget what everyone else tells you can or can’t do, and just try?

If you can handle all of this, then maybe you’re ready. If you think you can’t, you’d be surprised at what you can handle when you have to. But it is all of this and more that you bring to your table when you head out in untested waters. Because the thing is that it doesn’t matter what you want to do, or how other people view it, the fact that you’re doing anything at all that calls to mind these experiences will scare most people away. They’re scared of you because they’re afraid for themselves.

And perhaps, those who cling to their fears are the ones I hesitate to believe can pull it off.

I moved my blog from Blogger, to Tumblr for its more active community. Though, being so used to Blogger and the comfortable anonymity it afforded and the better user interface, I have to say I feel a little anxious. I thought I would copy and paste my blogger content (one post at a time) over here and then start writing new stuff, but it hasn’t worked out that way. Perhaps I’ll just keep both as they are. Tumblr for new, blogger for old. Yeah, why didn’t I think of that before? I could also, just randomly paste posts from the previous account here, as I feel like it and see fit. Duh.

So here is my new idea/question for the new blog: What is up with all of the BS surrounding “making a difference” and “following your dream?” As anyone can see by the name of this blog, I’m into dreaming. I like it a lot. Too much perhaps. I’ve written several intentionally inspirational posts on my former blog. I’ve shared bios of myself (who has yet to find sustainable success) and people who’ve “made” it. I’ve asked questions in the hopes that it will make people think, be more introspective about their goals and even venture to make a change. I’ve encouraged people to find their “point,” to buck the status quo if it isn’t for them, and I’ve written about the limitless examples surrounding us that are the result of someone taking the plunge. This free advice doesn’t really compare to a sexy life coach guru who will charge you for the privilege of being brown nosed into your dream life.

Although I have made a half-assed attempt at my own forms of public encouragement for every person to pursue a “passion,” I have to say that it was a selfish act. I was really just encouraging myself. And maybe that’s what we all do anyway. I digress.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about these new age, new generation, harbingers of good tidings and quitting corporate life to be “whatever you want.” The reason being that it’s fucking hard! It’s so hard in so many ways. But their websites and emails never seem to get around to mentioning that. To hear it from them, it’s a piece of cake really. You save up your salary for a few months, you quit, you write a novel, voila. You pay thousands of dollars to attend a summer camp for the life-goal-confused…you sit around a campfire you talk about who touched you when you were little and you come out with all of your ducks lined up. NEWS FLASH: you’re ducks are going to be all over the fucking place from the minute you walk out the front door of your office to the minute you get your break. The in between time, which could take years, requires an unbelievable amount of resolve and hard work. Even when you’re not working, it’s fucking work. Laying in bed with your head under the covers because you just are debilitated with what you’ve gotten yourself into—is work.

People don’t need a marshmallow peep telling them everything is going to be okay. To really follow your heart, a bootcamp would be more appropriate. Someone to prepare you for those in between times when you’re scared to death, when you’re pretty sure you’re a failure, when you’re looking up which homeless shelters have the nicest facilities before the cable company cuts your Internet service.

This is by and large why I’ve stopped reading the emails I get sent from the Internet gurus of the land, making money from selling the idea of a dream. They’re fucking doing it, if you need any inspiration, it should be watching them get off their ass and admiring their salesmanship. I don’t need someone to fluff up my pillow and feed me a line of bullshit about the air and sunshine and nirvana I’ll reach from following my “heart.” That crap is for the people who, quite frankly, will most likely never do what they hope to. It’s a lot easier to listen to the hype and hope than live the reality.

I guess once you start doing it, and have been at it for a minute, these sorts of things become laughable. You are no longer the uninitiated looking for a reason to justify your choices. You no longer derive pleasure from hearing the ups of someone else’s experience while they gloss over the lows.